Saturday, November 27, 2021

PCMR Concert at St Joseph's Oratory

Nov. 27, 2021. Anne and I went to the concert at the Oratory yesterday. The entire program was very moving for both of us as the director of the Maitrise, Marie-Pierre Rolland, and the musical director Andrew Gray went out of their way to honor the memory of Pavel.

We were afraid that they would not let us in because of the vaccine passport requirement.

Mr Gray spoke a eulogy to Pavel asking all the ex-Petits Chanteurs in the Basilica to stand up for the singing of a Welsh hymn "Suo Gân" and there were quite a number of them in the audience, many of whom were Pavel's friends from his time in the Maitrise.
Sitting there and seeing these beautiful young boys with their angelic voices singing the hymns, Gregorian chants and other religious music under the great dome of the basilica was in itself a transcendent experience, but coupled with the nostalgia of remembering the many years we spent as a part of this community, the support and kindness shown on this occasion, and the grief of Pavel's senseless end made our tears flow unconsciously and silently throughout the whole event.
Anne and I want to specially thank Mme Rolland, Andrew Gray, and all the PCMR volunteers, all of Pavel's friends, especially Edmund, Edouard, Antoine and Anousha, and William, and to my brother Alex, his wife Barbara and Pavel's cousin Zack, and everyone else who showed sympathy for our loss on this occasion.

Sunday, August 22, 2021

Go Fund Me page started

Raman Iyer has started a GoFundMe page to collect funds for my travel to Canada. I thank him for his support and approve of it.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-jagadanandaji-travel-to-find-his-missing-son

Thanks to all those who are so generously helping me with this painful but necessary pilgrimage. 

About my Sanskrit courses at Jiva this autumn

 जीव तीर्थ संस्कृतम्

I don't want to leave Vrindavan or my cave in the Jiva Institute, but I have been obliged to change my plans somewhat and resume a responsibility towards my family because of these very painful circumstances.

These are the crazy years of Covid. I will continue giving classes in Sanskrit and even if I cannot be back in Vrindavan by Karttik (because of visa and flight restrictions) I will continue to give them on Zoom, as currently.

It is best when we have live students present physically on the premises, but in the current circumstances, easy movement between countries has been disrupted, and India is considered to be a particularly tough place for Covid, even though in terms of cases per population [342 per million, compared to USA nearly 2000 or Brazil 2700.], it is quite far down the list. But there are still a huge number of cases.

So the new normal appears to be Zoom. Let me state unequivocally, however, that I am committed to my students and I am looking forward to starting the Bhagavad Gita with commentary Sanskrit reading course at the scheduled date.

This last repetition of the current iteration of the course, which is approaching completion now, has resulted in many great improvements.

It appears now that if someone follows and does the homework, they should be able to attain basic competency within six months. And with the addition of the reading course, they will have the tools to handle any text--with the help of a dictionary of course.

It will also make access to Babaji's Hari-nāmāmr̥ta-vyākaraṇa course much easier, so it opens the doors to a more thorough knowledge of Sanskrit grammar, as all the basic terms and usages will have been introduced. Many of Babaji's students who worked with me are telling me this is so.

I have worked hard to design a course that gives access to the Bhāgavatam and our Gauḍīya texts. The orientation is towards rasa, or getting a taste for the language as well as getting a feel for the specific genius of Sanskrit and its unique ways of expression.

Most students have found it an enjoyable experience because of the chanting and memorization of iconic illustrative verses from the scriptures as well as daily "calisthenics" of declension and conjugation recitation.

For anybody wishing to do an intensive six-month course (5 days a week) covering all the basics, then I recommend taking this opportunity, because it is one that, like the human body itself, is both sulabha and sudurlabha.

There is a lot of competition out there, but I strongly feel the approach I have devised is a superior one, but it takes commitment for the six month period and then seriousness about continuing one's engagement with Sanskrit afterwards.

* Knowing the Sanskrit alphabet is a prerequisite for the course. So start learning NOW.

Please contact Malatimanjari Dasi (info@jiva.org) if you are interested. Jai Radhe.

Friday, August 20, 2021

Love and Loss in the Kali Yuga

 My dear friends. Radhe Radhe!

Anne and I both appreciate the positive vibrations and sentiments coming from you all [in response to posts on Facebook about Pavel]. In circumstances like this, it takes solidarity from the living to give one the will to continue.

That is the practical social reality for the living. But Krishna says one should lament neither for the living nor the dead. Of course Pavel is still alive, in this form or another, because once having existence, the soul never loses it. He is simply visible to us physically or not.

In actual fact, I have long thought about love in this world and the next. The Upanishads and the Bhagavatam tell us that we love others because of ourselves. We are self-centered and so others' value is measured in how much pleasure they give us. And we call that pleasure love.

But what we don't know is that it is actually the presence of the Self in every individual that attracts us, is revealed to us, and that is the true thing that gives us pleasure. We are revealed to ourselves through the objects of our love. The degree to which that happens is the measure of our love.

But ultimately that Self is Krishna, the real, true existential object of our love, which is only partially reflected in our worldly loving relations. At times like this, it is necessary to transfer that love to Him and to His universal presence. We are only truly revealed to ourselves by loving Him. This is how we make our love eternal.

It is heartwarming to know that one has so many friends around the world who feel the pain that Anne and I feel. This certainly deepens my faith in a God of Love and the community of faith and practice. It inspires me to continue serving you through continuing to explore this path of Ultimate Good, sharing my study and experience, however trivial in God's eyes, with all of you. Jai Radhe. 

Thursday, August 19, 2021

My son Pavel disappears while mountain biking

The entire Brzezinski and Campeano families have been shocked and devastated by the news that my son Pavel (30 years old) disappeared in a popular wilderness and mountain biking area near Quebec City, Vallée du Bras-nord. He went up last Sunday, the 15th, and went missing on the same day. We have no idea what happened to him. 

He was a beautiful child, smart, talented, full of potential. He had growing pains, but was just coming through them all -- he finally got his computer science degree, got a good paying job he liked doing, had friends and a girlfriend. Life was looking up for him like never before. He had seemingly come through a dark zone and was opening up to a life of achievement. It is terrible not to know what happened to him. It is terrible to see it all come to such a sudden and meaningless end.

He was blessed in so many ways. From childhood he had been hearing the Holy Name. He had taken prasada and loved it. He was a lifelong vegetarian, and a great advertisement for vegetarianism: He was physically strong and brimming with good health. He had tremendous talent as a pianist and had received classical training in voice as well.

Under social pressure, he took the two Covid shots, against the will of his mother who felt that the vaccine would only diminish his natural resistance, which was strong due to his general good health. Pavel had been complaining of chest pains after the second shot and his mental attitude had been less positive afterwards. But on the day he left for Quebec, he was cheerful and enthusiastic about the trip and showed no negative mood at all.

The companions with whom he was mountain-biking also saw nothing in his attitude that differed from the customary. But at one point, Pavel said he wanted to go down a different trail and separated from the group. We don't know why he did that. He said he would meet up with the others for lunch at 2.30, but never showed up. His friends reported to the park rangers and the Sureté Québec (the provincial police force) and they soon found his bicycle, helmet and glasses on the trail, but without any sign of Pavel.
 
This will give you and idea of what the area looks like.
The natural scenery there is pretty incredible. Check the link.

The search began and for five days they looked up and down the trails. There was no sign of his making an entry into the forest itself, but the cover is so thick at this time of the year that it is impossible not to get lost within only a few meters of the trail. For the same reason, the search parties did not go into the woods, but they saw no signs that Pavel had entered at some point himself.

They looked along the cliffs and in some caves, they look along the river at the bottom of the cliffs. They used dogs, helicopters, drones and hundreds of local volunteers, including Pavel's friends, some of whom stayed on. But after five days they said we cannot go on. They found no body, so we are left without closure.

Did he run off somewhere? Did he pull a disappearing act? Was he abducted? None of this makes any sense at all. Could he have had some psychotic or drug-induced episode? His friends say he did not take anything and that he was behaving completely normally.

His mother, Anne, is going with his cousin to see if there is anything that can be done. If nothing else, they will at least see where his last traces are to be found. She still hopes against hope. Pavel lived with his mother still and indeed he was everything to her in a way that even I cannot understand. I cannot imagine how disastrous all this is to her. 

Pavel came into this world surrounded by love and he was loved throughout. It is not right that this lovely young man should be taken away from us prematurely, before all the powers within him could be expressed for the service of God and humanity.

Perhaps he will still be found or will show up again, but it is hard to hope in these circumstances. Wherever you are, Pavel, we are with you in spirit. Continue your journey to the Ultimate Good and we are with you. Our love and our fearlessness accompany you. May the grace of Sri Krishna always go with you. 

aho vidhātas tava na kvacid dayā
saṁyojya maitryā praṇayena dehinaḥ
tāṁś cākṛtārthān viyunaṅkṣy apārthakaṁ
vikrīḍitaṁ te ‘rbhaka-ceṣṭitaṁ yathā
O God of Destiny, you never show any mercy!
You bring embodied souls together through friendship and affection,
but before their desires are fulfilled, you separate them again.
Your game is like the meaningless actions of a child. (10.39.19)

At times like this, we devotees have no other recourse but the Bhagavad Gita and our other texts, which start from the reminder that we all die. We die, those we love die. There is no escape for anyone, so why lament? We trust in the will of the Lord. This temporary world is a vale of suffering and provides no shelter for anyone. Even so, it is hard to conjure up the divine indifference of a Shrivas Thakur.

Naturally, at a time like this, I would like to be with Anne to help her get through this unimaginably difficult situation, but I have no money to travel, there are Covid restrictions on travel to Canada, and I am also facing a critical time in getting passport and visa renewed. But money is the main problem.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Jiva Tirtha Sanskrit and Bṛhad-bhāgavatāmṛta readings

Jai Jai Sri Radhe. 

It is a little late, but here is my invitation to all Jiva bhaktas to learn Sanskrit with me this academic year.

At Jiva this year I will be offering two courses on Zoom, beginning Oct. 15th.  

  • * Beginners Grammar Course (following the Jiva Tirtha Sanskrit manual): 3:30-4:30 IST 
  • * Bṛhad Bhagavatāmṛta reading course: 430-5:30 IST 

Check with jiva.orgjiva.org to find out about registration and participation or contact me directly.

I hope that some of you will take this valuable opportunity to learn Sanskrit.   The beginners' course is meant to give a good general introduction to the use of Sanskrit in our sampradāya, remembering that there are several genres within the Gauḍīya corpus.

It fits a lot into a one-year period, but it is meant for people who are serious about going deeply into the scriptures.  

Those who understand Satyanarayana Dasa Babaji's mindset and his goals for the Jiva Institute and the Jiva Tirtha course in particular, will know how he wishes to inculcate in serious bhakti-sādhakas a sense of the importance of scripture in this tradition and to revive such scholarship in our sampradāya. 

In his own personal sādhana, he has put a great emphasis on the Sanskrit language, as indeed did the Goswamis themselves. I am sure that many of those who follow his lectures but whose knowledge of Sanskrit is limited will recognize how they are missing a big part of what he is trying to communicate. 

The Jiva Tirtha course has been in development for several years and is improving with each revision.

Babaji is always stressing the need of learning from a teacher. I can honestly tell you without any false pride that there are very few people with my experience and background teaching Sanskrit in the English language, who also have a broad specific knowledge of the Gauḍīya Vaiṣṇava literary corpus and its history, etc. 

The course is about more than just learning a language. It is my fervent desire to communicate a feeling of love for Sanskrit by exposing students to many sample verses related to the lesson at hand. 

Learning Sanskrit should not be a forced labor, but one of enjoyment and love.  

The relationship of kāvya-rasa to bhakti-rasa is something that is pervasive in the writings of our tradition and very much characteristic of it. Don't you think that it is an integral part of our sādhana to become qualified to enter into that rasa? 

For those who wish to go on to learning Hari-nāmāmr̥ta-vyākaraṇa, this will be a first-class preparation. But by the end of the first year course, one should have a broad basis of understanding -- grammar and vocabulary -- that is sufficient for following the Bṛhad-bhāgavatāmṛta reading course. 

The Bṛhad-bhāgavatāmṛta is a very special and interesting work. Sanātana Gosvāmi was the Boro Baba, the seniormost of the six Goswamis in age. This book was one of the first composed by any of the Goswamis and Sanatan himself considered it important enough to write his own commentary to it.

Rupa Goswami thought it important enough to write a concise version of the same siddhāntas in Laghu-bhāgavatāmṛta, but without the entertaining narratives of Nārada and Gopakumāra, or the sweet phrasings that are Sanātana Prabhupāda's calling card.

It is the earliest attempt to give an overview and analysis of the Bhāgavatam, which is the characteristic feature of our sampradāya, so one can the basis of the teachings of all the Sandarbhas therein.

Since the primary reading material is Sanātana's svayaṁ-ṭīkā, Dig-darśinī, this reading course gives an especially good introduction to the art of reading Sanskrit prose commentaries.

And since the Vaiṣṇava-toṣaṇi-ṭippaṇī on the Tenth Canto was also written by Sanātana, it will give one a familiarity with his personal style that will be useful in later reading.

Sanātana Goswami's reputation as a Sanskrit poet and scholar is often overshadowed by the achievements of his brother and nephew, but anyone who reads the Bṛhad-bhāgavatāmṛta  will recognize his influence on them.

This is, in short, a rare opportunity that anyone who is serious about following Babaji and the Jiva Tirtha program, or indeed anyone who wishes to enter deeply into the ocean of rasa of the Goswami literature, should try very hard not to miss.

It is my fervent prayer that some of you will take this chance and enter into the rasa of Sanskrit and its literature, in particular that of our sampradāya. 

Jai Jai Sri Radhe Shyam! 

Check with jiva.org to find out about registration and participation.


Sunday, October 4, 2020

Purushottama :: He is beyondthe kshara and the akshara.

 So Abhishek came by today. I know several Abhisheks, but this one is a young man in his mid to late twenties who has a good job in Delhi in a bank. He is from Vrindavan and a longtime friend of Jiva and I believe he took mantra from Maharaj, if I am not mistaken. At any rate, he is Babaji's disciple. An ambitious young man with a forward attitude, but prides himself in efficiency and good work. Babaji has put him on my case about the visa and citizenship process that are currently occupying an insufficient amount of space in my consciousness, as I have sunk into a marvelous sinkhole of rajas and tamas since my too pure for words beginning to the Purushottam vrata.

So he came by my room and afterwards I looked around at it and it showed the untidy state my mind has gotten to. Books are strewn, the bed is not made, Giridhari and his altar look forlorn and neglected. 

Of course, Purushottama means he is the One-in-Charge, as we most certainly believe, and so I credit him with the complete reversal of my mood from the beginning of the month. Perhaps it has something to do with the rising moon, since Purushottam started from the Amavasya.

Whatever the case, I have been living in my zone for the past months, and that zone is, by virtue of the fact that I am at Jiva and in the association of some big devotional brains, I have not escaped the mood of the place. Especially since the pressure to take my responsibility for Prīti Sandarbha is always there.

Today I was notified that the final editor of the text, Nabadwip, is more than halfway through Bhakti Sandarbha. So this is a bit why I have been working like crazy on Brihad Bhagavatamrita and the manual. Now I have two students at different times, so a lot of the smaller problems with the manual are coming to light. It has almost doubled in length and I am afraid that may be a little excessive. For a student to get through the whole thing in a year might be too much to ask.

Anyway, my real objective if I can try to distill it, is to get the student prepared for a reading course like we are doing with Brihad Bhagavatamrita. So the two tasks went hand-in-hand. Sanatana Goswami is actually a very appealing author. This book really has to be read with the commentary, because that is where he quotes so much from the Bhagavatam and other Puranas in order to put in place a clear hierarchy of devotion in accordance with the Bhagavata, in particular placing the gopis, and Radha among them, as the topmost of all the models of devotion.

Friday Babaji finished going through the Rāga-vartma-candrikā, which resulted in many discussions on rāgānugā bhakti. Babaji was stressing throughout that the message of the book was not quite what most modern-day raganuga bhaktas, or so-called raganuga bhaktas think. Vishwanath Thakur trying to put a little bit of order into the sampradāya, it would seem, and as Babaji brought out in the course was the Radha Vallabhi sampradāya. This was of course in discussing the obligatory nature of following the Ekadashi fast. But it is perhaps not just there that Vishwanath is fretting about the Radha Vallabhis in other descriptions of erroneous ways of looking at rāgānugā sādhana.

And there he put the taking of a guru at the head of the line, because in Bhakti-rasāmr̥ta-sindhu that is a universal principle. One takes a guru who follows the raganuga path and you serve him and the mercy will be forthcoming. He repeatedly said that you cannot just get it from a book. Because it is sevā sādhaka rūpeṇa siddha-rūpeṇa cātra hi. And the essential part of sādhana is ultimately sat-saṅga, since everything else flows from the grace of the devotees and the guru. 

It takes a lot of strength to be able to speak on the necessity of guru, but it was making a big impression on everyone. Not a bad vibe.

Let me say, if I had feelings of competitiveness with Babaji, they are almost entirely dissipated. He is very learned and it is a pleasure to go through these texts with him. I was observing that he has made far more progress in the last few years than I have. I think he has been spending time memorizing verses from his big verse book. He recites more verses than ever before, and seemingly from all the branches of his knowledge, and he always seems to find relevance for his knowledge of the six darshans and so on. He is quite insane to offer a course on Mimamsa to what is predominantly a Vaishnava audience, but he is also interested in exploring the knowledge universe of Sri Jiva Goswami. And, of course, living in the modern context, in whatever way we can make it relevant and meaningful to today's world.

If I want this Sanskrit course and the Brihad Bhagavatamrita to be a fundamental part of what Jiva Institute offers. To become, in a sense, indispensible. Not for my own positioning, but because it is necessary. I stated in the beginning that the Grantha Mandira was meant to represent the knowledge-universe of Jiva Goswami. Of course, a lot of things were added later from Vishwanath and so on, but for most of the time Jiva Goswami was set as the fulcrum point of the Gaudiya Vaishnava knoweldge-world.

The Grantha Mandir started out with me trying to race through the entire corpus of texts in order to have searchable texts to consult. I knew they were full of mistakes and I knew this also, that editing is really where you have to read a book more closely. Now even this work I just did on Brihad Bhagavatamrita, was a first reading really, since I never typed this one out myself. Vilasa has gotten some individuals to scan text and then use of Optical Character Recognition and convert it to transliterated form. 

This has actually been great for us, and we even have a partner in South India who is also trying to do something similar, so this has meant an abundance of mostly unedited material. Now even the old stuff was in serious need of editing, as the readings in Rāga-vartma-candrikā revealed glaringly enough. Who knows where I got that text, but anyway it has been updated if you are interested.

Braj Mohan Dasji is the one who has been doing the scanning and converting of the text. He has been doing this for two years now, but his knowledge of Sanskrit is still not even at the beginners  level. He is pretty accurate at reproducing exactly what was in the printed text he is using, but he gives it in a raw, undigested form. So I told him to come and start taking Sanskrit with me right away because there is no point in doing all that textual work without understanding anything of what is going on. And I need to train editors.

So basically this accounts for my insane kind of Silicon Valley mindset. Ha ha. Okay let me dial down a bit. I am not quite that bad, but I really have been overloading on tea and by staying off the internet I have managed to become quite concentrated, much more than has been the case for the last couple of years, like ever since I was a kid. A lifetime with attention deficit disorder, thankfully undiagnosed. Its results, as they manifest themselves in my own experience, is that one is overwhelmed with a mountain of unfinished projects, which are like ghosts that are constantly haunting me. And something else always seems to be a priority. 

In this case of course, it is all a part of a global effort. I have to give priority to Priti Sandarbha because the project has been way to long in undergoing completion. 

interruption for Babaji's Rāsa-līlā class, every Sunday for some time. Really amazing verses and the commentaries are so expansive and detailed, how the gopis are answering Krishna's instructions to go back home and to serve their husbands. How it is being explained from the point of view of the vivarta-vāda, or from mīmāṁsā or whatever other philosophical school. 

I remember reading S.K. De's criticism of Rupa Goswami for having the gopis holding such lofty philosophical and theological sentences, spoken in the courtly Sanskrit of the classical poets. Where is the simple milkmaid in all this? {he cried}. But it seems to be a favorite among the learned poets from times long past, ever since the gopis sprang onto the cultural scene and became the language of poetic love. 

It is a bit puzzling, but rasa is relished by different people in different ways. The word saṁskr̥ta means refined. It is a noble way of speech. But the ability to relish rasa, at least the literary kind, is to become trained in the ways of the courtly romantic speech. We have so much to joke about? Krishna being a hog in a previous incarnation, and all kinds of other strange behaviors in the different incarnations. This went on even in Krishna Kirtan by Chandidas, which I was writing about a few years ago [one of those unfinished projects I spoke of...], making fun of each other by reference to the mythological deeds of Vishnu in his various incarnations. And Krishna also makes use of it, "I am Narayan and you are Lakshmi, so we are eternally husband and wife. The present situation has nothing to do with it."

So Abhishek is going to help me with the visa and citizenship problem.

You know, I did not write about my 50th anniversary. Oct. 1, I celebrate it in my mind as the anniversary of my joining the temple in Toronto. That was in 1970. So a whole lifetime has gone by, a whole lifetime that I really gave over to Srila Prabhupada and to the goals that he gave me. To become Krishna conscious, bolo krishna, bhaja krishna, koro krishna siksha. Bhaktivinoda Thakur's words. 

I feel that I have been fortunate in my life to be able to scratch the surface of Krishna bhakti. It was Srila Prabhupada who translated my teenage malaise into a fundamental reorientation in the way I looked at the world. The ever changing temporal world could never be the field of fulfilment, that had to be sought elsewhere, internally in the search for the Soul of the soul, and to live in the reality of that love, that exists between the part and the Whole.

And for everything there is a path for getting there. There may be different paths, but the path to Krishna is a unique one. There are general yamas and niyamas that everyone should follow, regardless of the particular path, but the inner practices are all organized around remembering one's siddha-svarupa engaged in service to Radha and Krishna in Vrindavan, in that world where all the features of the heavenly world set the scene for their extraordinary love adventures. Those are the particularities of our path, and when there are particularities there have to be specialists. Specialists in their own path, but also expert in the other practices that enhance the strength of character, that make one a hero on the spiritual path.

The path of raganuga bhakti truly does path through citizenship of India. I have been saying since who knows how long, that bhakti is a sadhana of identity, and really one has to struggle to understand the mentality of the rishis and great sadhakas and bhaktas. You have to pass through their world. And if you have an intellectual bent, then these books and commentaries are an ocean in which the dolphins play.

In Rāga-vartma-candrikā, as well as his commentaries to BRS, Vishwanath explains the necessity for taking birth in the prakaṭa-līlā manifestation, which is always going on somewhere. Because, he explains, if you just popped into the lila fully grown and so on, but had no history, no relation to the community, then the aspects of the ordinary human life that are a backdrop to all these pastimes would not be present. He thereby shows the importance of saṁskāra. Like Bhaktivinoda Thakur says, "vraja gopi bhava, hoibek svabhava, an bhava na rahibe." I will take birth in Gokula and be married and so on. That will be the vastu siddhi, when the identity itself becomes real.

Funnily enough, one of the arguments the gopis gave to Krishna in 10.29.32 was that Krishna was giving instructions, but he did not put his money where his mouth was. So, they said, if you want to tell us what to do, you first have to set the example. So you become a woman, like Ajita became Mohini, find yourself a husband and serve him. Then when you have become expert, you come back and tell us what to do."

So I said, "Mahaprabhu?" And Babaji said, "No Mahaprabhu had a male body and he even got married twice. But the gopis are saying you must take birth as women and experience it for real, not just experiencing some bhavas."

The main thing about Rāga-vartma-candrikā was that it was defining lobha. At the end of the series, someone asked again about lobha, saying how can one measure it in one's own sadhana? Or something like that. I said, "Better to think you have none." Babaji said, "Because it is actually the truth, no one does. So you take a rāgānugā guru and you serve and follow him. He is the bhajana-vijña and through his grace and guidance it will descend upon you."

Today's class, though, the rāsa-līlā really is where the commentators put the greatest effort in squeezing out every drop of every word in every verse, so that the many branches of the tree of the rasa-lila can sprout more leaves and flowers and fruits. 

Jai Sri Radhe