Purushottam Blog, Day 5

varaṁ huta-vaha-jvālā
pañjarāntar-vyavasthitiḥ
na śauri-cintā-vimukha-
jana-saṁvāsa-vaiśasam

I would rather be locked in a cage surrounded by burning flames than suffer in the association of those who are averse to thinking of Krishna.

And a similar idea is found in the Viṣṇu-rahasya (BRS 1.2.112)–

āliṅganaṁ varaṁ manye
vyāla-vyāghra-jalaukasām
na saṅgaḥ śalya-yuktānāṁ
nānā-devaika-sevinām

I believe it is better to embrace a poison snake, a tiger that will eat you, or a crocodile that will swallow you whole, rather than accept the agonizing company of those who worship many gods.

One of the good things about this Purushottam vrata that I have taken up is point number 3. I don’t have the internet in my room, so I stay there to keep away from the temptation to watch YouTube, which has admittedly been the bane of my life for the past two years. A lot of that has been what can only be called asat-saṅga. There is no point in going into detail, as I am sure most devotees will agree.

I think that the devotees who do follow world events on line tend to become affected by the confusion created by conspiracy theorists. I am not saying there is no such thing as conspiracy, I believe that the rich and powerful do collude to maintain and expand their power. That is the way of the world. 

 In the Manohar Das life that I referred to the other day, the author Nabadwip Das recounts that while he was still a householder and advocate living in Kolkata and visiting Govinda Kund whenever he could. Manohar Dasji had heard that Nabadwip Das had been caught up in the svadeshi movement. He said to him, “I heard you are giving political speeches to get the British to quit India.” Nabadwip Das admitted it was true. Manohar Das then told him, “By Krishna’s will the British are ruling India and they will continue to do so for as long as He desires it. It is not our business as Vaishnavas to interfere with His will, but to do bhajan. When it is time for them to leave, they will leave. In the meantime, take shelter of the Holy Name and do bhajan.” 

 Those who know about Srila Prabhupada’s first meeting with Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati will recall that something similar happened. When Prabhupada asked how the message of Mahaprabhu could be spread around the world when the British were in charge, his guru answered, “The message of Krishna cannot wait for a change in Indian politics. It is not dependent on who ruled. The teachings of Bhagavad-gita are so important – so exclusively important – that it cannot wait.”

Then when India finally did achieve its independence, Prabhupada wrote a strong article saying that there were no more excuses. At any rate, two similar, though different, responses to the same situation. Funnily enough, Babaji said something in harmony with that in today’s class, saying, “Don’t worry about society, but look at what you can do in your own life to make changes. Ultimately if we look towards society we will only lose hope and make no progress.”

My point here is that all these conspiracy theories rattle the brains of so many who claim to be devotees. They really have no power to change anything, or even to know whether their claims are true or false. What we are supposed to know is that Krishna is in charge and that in this short life on earth we are tempted to follow so many different directions, but it all leads to the same end.

Those peddling conspiracy theories are being distracted from their true purpose. And all those endless talking heads who stir up trouble for their own power and advantage or whatever purpose are not our friends. They are poisonous snakes, tigers and crocodiles.

So one good thing so far is that I am not paying much attention to them. I recognize that modern society, science, technology and culture are all amazing accomplishments of humanity. That does not make us gods. That does not make any of these amazing accomplishments a replacement for bhakti, the natural activity of the soul.

---

I was expecting a crash today, and it did come in part. I got up spontaneously at 3, but after three hours in my asan, I conked out for an hour, and that was followed by a rather distracted japa session pacing back and forth. Then later in the day I took another nap, so altogether it was a more normal sleep day. I also ate more than on previous days. So my work day was a little less than optimal, but that seems to be something I say every day. 

 I edited a few pages of Brihad Bhagavatamrita, but most of the time was devoted to revising and composing the section on the desiderative for my Sanskrit manual, which by now has taken on such a life of its own that I don’t know where it is going. It is meant for seriously committed students who want to learn the Bhāgavatam. Today I researched the use of the desiderative in the Bhāgavatam and some other texts. I found hardly any instances in the Viṣṇu Purāṇa, so it appears to be something that came into more popular usage later historically. Use of the desiderative in verb form (cikīrṣati) is considerably less than its use as an agent noun or adjective (cikīrṣu) or abstract noun (cikīrṣā) for most roots. There is also a preponderance of certain roots and an almost complete absence of others. So even though explaining the formation of the desiderative was a bit of a complex chore, I think that it will not be too onerous for a student at that stage of learning. I like to explain several different ways of saying the same thing at once.

ahaṁ tat kartum icchāmi. ahaṁ tat cikīrṣāmi. mayā tat cikīrṣitam. mayā tat kartum iṣyate. ahaṁ tat kartukāmaḥ, etc.

The most difficult part of all this is to find or write good illustrative sentences. For nearly every point of grammar, I have been finding simple Sanskrit verses from the literature – Gītā, obviously, but Bhāgavatam (even though in general Bhāgavatam is very problematic for a beginner student due to the great use of unorthodox and archaic forms) but also from the Goswami literature and the Kathā literature also.

It feels strange that I have put all this work into developing the manual, I think this will be the fifth year, and I don’t even know if I will have any students. At the present moment I have one student only. Which is okay, as I can still see more directly what is working and what isn’t and this is why I am making so many revisions in it now. But I am wondering, who will be able to teach this? One of my other students who is now back in the West, said that I am the only one who will be able to teach this course. There are so many Sanskrit manuals available nowadays, who will use mine? Anyway, as the Vaishnavas always say, I do it for my own purification.

---

I forgot to say that Babaji has started giving Rāga-vartma-candrikā classes every evening. This is a short book which he is giving on Zoom, so you can check the Jiva Institute page if you feel like following along. Yesterday was the first day. Vishwanath starts the book by stressing that the difference between vaidhī and rāgānugā is the motivation for them. These are, according to Vishwanath, following Rupa Goswami, scripture and greed, respectively. I think we have to go a bit further than that, as the implications of the two motivations go far. Rāgānugā bhakti is rare, but so is vaidhī bhakti. I doubt there are many true practitioners of rāgānugā bhakti. It takes a great indifference to worldly opinion to be a rāgānugā bhakta, like Siddha Chaitanya Das, or even Gadadhar Pran Das, in my opinion.

Rāgānugā bhakti is about svarūpa-cintana and svarūpa-āveśa. You can’t fake it. This is why, as I was saying earlier, that I chose to learn the yogic process of disciplining the body in order to discipline the mind, in the hope that such a disciplined mind would be more malleable and remain concentrated on the goal. But svarūpāveśa has no relation to any of that. Which is why the Bhāgavatam does not give so much importance to yoga. It ultimately remains bound to the material body and mind and their limitations.

This is, I believe, Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s own verse.

abhimānaṁ parityājya prākṛta-vapur-ādiṣu
śrī-kṛṣṇa-kṛpayā gopī-dehe vraje vasāmy aham
rādhikānucarī bhūtvā pārakīya-rase sadā
rādhā-kṛṣṇa-vilāseṣu paricaryāṁ karomy aham

I have given up my identity with this material body and everything connected with it, and by Krishna’s mercy now live as a gopi in Vraja. I am Radharani’s maidservant, and I always engage in serving Radha and Krishna as they engage in their love affairs in the mood of paramours.

And the following comes from Prabodhananda, with one small editing change by Bhaktivinoda Thakur about which I am a little ambivalent.

dukūlaṁ bibhrāṇam atha kuca-taṭe kañcuka-paṭaṁ
prasādaṁ svāminyāḥ sva-kara-tala-dattaṁ praṇayataḥ
sthitāṁ nityaṁ pārśve vividha-paricaryaika-caturāṁ
kiśorīm ātmānaṁ caṭula-parakīyāṁ nu kalaye

When will I see myself as an adolescent girl, excited by the mood of being married to someone else, expert in all varieties of personal service, standing beside the Divine Couple, wearing a dress and blouse formerly worn by my own mistress Radharani and affectionately given me by Her personally. (Rādhā-rasa-sudhā-nidhi 53)

Extended translation based on Ananta Das’s Rādhā-rasa-sudhā-nidhi commentary:

How sweet it is to think "I am Radha's maidservant!" How tender and delicious is the remembrance of one's siddha svarupa! Srimad Jīva Goswami said in Bhakti Sandarbha (304), "Even if one does not perform any other spiritual practice, one can attain perfection simply by having the attitude that ‘I am a servant of the Lord’ (dāso’ham)."

The practising devotee takes the forms, qualities and activities of the eternally perfect maidervants (nitya-siddha-mañjarī-gaṇa) as his example to nourish his self-identification of “I am an adolescent maidservant with such-and-such qualities, service and form. I am not this body, I am not this mind, and I am not these senses, but I am a transcendental female individual, eternally endowed with adolescent beauty!” This is how the aspirant shrugs off his bodily and mental consciousness.

The Upaniṣads state: “The soul is not female, not male and not neuter. It is only upon attaining a particular body that one is identified with a particular gender.” (Śvetāśvatara Upaniṣad 5.10)

Prabodhananda Saraswati not only thinks of himself as an adolescent maidservant, but he also says, "I am dressed with the leftover blouse and dress that Swamini lovingly gave me with Her own hand when She was satisfied with my service!"

According to Srila Raghunath Das Goswami, all of Srimatī Radharāṇī's clothes and ornaments are made of transcendental emotions. Even a dried-up heart will become filled with rasa by remembering Srimatī's leftover blouses and dresses. Uddhava says, "We, Your eternal servants, who eat only the remnants of Your food, who are dressed in the garlands, unguents, clothes and ornaments You have worn, will easily conquer Your material energy." (Srimad Bhāgavatam 11.6.46)

This is all aiśvarya bhāva (a reverential conception), therefore in Uddhava’s verse, the conquest of Maya is mentioned as the benediction, but in the realm of sweetness, rasa is the benediction. The meditation on Radhika's sweet pastimes is interpenetrated by the memory of the blouse and dress that She mercifully gave with Her own hands. The bodily fragrance of Radha and Krishna is sweet prasad, and when the kinkari smells it she feels blessed.